Di Gilpin writes: "I have never seen you looking so confident, comfortable and in control on any horse - and especially not that one", said my totally non-horsey husband when me and my once 'mad' mare rode up the garden path. "What have you been spending your money on all these years? All those lessons and no difference and now after just a few weeks an amazing transformation." For years I've been reading about understanding horses, horse whisperers, riding with my mind, join-up and I have taken countless lessons where people have stood on the ground forcing me, and often my horse, into more and more uncomfortable contortions in order to achieve some supposedly graceful movement. Something just didn't compute but I couldn't find anyone to teach me any other way. It took me a great deal more courage to admit that I was deeply scared than to carry on along the precarious path between just being OK and total disaster. In truth it was a relief when any ride was over. Although I couldn't admit that to myself because that would mean I was some sort of failure. After all riding was how I enjoyed myself. Whenever I talk to horsey friends there always seems to be a drama involved. Horses bolting, kicking, refusing to load, riders getting hurt or hanging on by the skin of their teeth. Everyone can learn to interact with their horses correctly. Personally I feel too old and vulnerable to live my life on the edge. I love my horse and do not want to give up, I wanted my relationship with my horse to be better. And now it is. If you are genuinely looking to improve your relationship with your horse, if you want to feel more relaxed and confident about any aspect of your riding then I recommend that you have a chat with Pip. We all think we know enough, we all find reasons to remain stuck in our life patterns, and it is difficult to own up to feeling fearful about our horses. But all the dramas we experience psychologically point to the horses reflecting our own fear. Here is an opportunity to deal with the fear and get so much more joy out of everyday riding and being with our horses. Di Gilpin